Yesterday I attended Map through the Maze, Alzheimer's Association, MA/NH Chapter's annual conference. I came home inspired. Keynote speaker Reverend Kathleen Rusnak was lively and engaging, talking about spirituality in people with dementia. The audience thankfully knew the answer to her question, what is a person. No one said, as did Descartes, we are because we speak. Reverend Rusnak had us laughing at the expense of those who believe that people with advanced dementia, who can no longer care for themselves don't need the precious time of a chaplain to work with a person with dementia who could not say anything more than "I want to go home." Not the time of the privileged who can think. Better to let a volunteer whose time is not so precious. . .
It felt timely to be presenting following Reverend Rusnak, as she ended speaking about empathy as a skill, and the need to mirror people as a way of being empathic. She said, "The Body Remembers", and so it does. In my workshop on Nonverbal Communication for Caregivers of People with Dementia, I felt as though I shared my experience, gave them an experience, and that we learned from each other. The workshop felt person-centered to me and I hope the participants felt that way, as that is certainly my wish.
We talked about what people with dementia are good at ~ being in the present, emotionally perceptive. Maybe our world has something to learn from them. Could it be?
We looked at what we experienced when we shook people's hands and looked into their eyes. I wasn't teaching them something they didn't know. I was simply giving us all language for it. Why? Because we convey so much when we shake a person's hands and look into their eyes. What did we notice? Among other things, how much of the hand was given, the duration of eye contact and handshake, the depth of the eye contact, shaping of the body to better make eye contact.
I exhibited the Octaband and dressed for the occasion in my new dress, made in Octaband colors. I felt like "The Octaband Lady", especially when I walked around with the Octaband wrapped around me like a shawl. (Another time I'll blog on people costuming with the Octaband. People often like to dress themselves in the Octaband.)
I was happy to see old friends, including therapeutic recreation specialists, activity directors, former dance movement therapy supervisees and Octaband purchasers and also to meet new ones. I made contacts which I hope will allow me to provide more dance groups to Memory Care Units around eastern and central Massachusetts and/or train folks in bringing dance to elders and people with dementia. Why? Becausedancing causes them be the liveliest they can and to enjoy being in their bodies.
While dressed as above, I had an interesting conversation with the owner of Rehabilitation Associates, which is a small family owned chain of short and long term healthcare facilities. Each has no more than about 45 to 75 residents. I must have looked pretty strange, dressed in this Octaband, as I proclaimed adamantly that the reality is the treatment we provide our elders in care facilities, to our people with dementia is not good enough. Yes, there is a continuum of treatment, from good to worse. However,is that honoring our parents? I don't think so.
So I came home and wrote:
What would it really mean to revere our elders?
Those who came before us?
To honor our mothers and fathers?
What would it mean?
What would it mean to treat them with reverence, deep honor?
Queen for a Day?
A cloak and a crown? To sit on a dais?
What would it mean?
What would it mean to honor our mothers and fathers?
How would we treat them?
How would we thank them for all they have given us?
Our lives! This very breath!
What would it mean?
What would it mean to love our mothers and fathers?
Even those with dementia? Even those who can’t speak anymore?
Who can no longer “contribute”?
What would it mean to love them?
What would it mean?
If they can’t speak, at least not in words,
if they can’t remember, though they do remember
caregivers they like and caregivers they don’t.
What does it mean not to speak, not to remember?
What does it mean?
What does it mean to be emotionally perceptive?
To be in the present.
To not care about propriety, but to care about love.
What does that mean?
So I ask my readers, what does it look like? Got a picture? If you do, please send it here. I would love to post it.
Recent Comments